Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

It was a very (un)fortunate turn of events that I saw this movie. Seriously. My friend just got this fancy 3D TV set with glasses and all, and it was the only movie they had in 3D, and I just had to check it out. Yeah.

Lie be told, I've always wanted to see this film. I really like it when classic childhood stories are cinematically retold with abundance of blood and literal head-stomping. This is a dream come true, I'm telling ya.


It's all very action-movie like, appropriate "adventure" music, panning shots and things flying out of the TV. Typical plot, definite ending, very cool "tag" scene in the end, has a nice Hollywood touch, cliches, and I think (hope) Brothers Grimm have long ago stopped turning over in their graves; and people who first made up this story have stopped caring altogether even long before the rise of German Romanticism in early 19th century.

Spoilers or sort-of, duh:
1. The red-headed witch dies, and of course Jeremy Renner is still lonely, bad-ass and availably hot as hell.
2. There's even something like Shrek and Fiona story, and the troll resembles Harry Potter trolls TOO much.
3. Am I the only one or the way Hansel looks at Gretel really has sometimes an incestuous feel to it?
4. Only women can be witches --> witch-craft is bad -->  women become super ugly when they practice this crazy magic stuff. But did you really have to make all witches cripples and invalids of different kinds? I get the logic, but it's not really fair: we aim at constructing an equal-for-all society and that's not really helpful.
5. Really fucking cruel.
6. Historically inaccurate.

Django Unchained

Yeah, I've got to admit that I am not yet done with the Oscars 2013.

I like this poster.


Here's a bullet point list:

• Django is a hero alright. He deserves to have a film named after him.
• blood-blood-blood-ketchup-ketchup-paint-blood 
• soundtrack
• pre-Civil War times (I'm not great with the history of the U.S. though)
• DiCaprio's accent, and I just like how everyone says "bounty hunter" here. They make it sound so romantic.

But as usual I'm not quite sure what Tarantino wanted to say. 

1) Injustice and racial prejudices suck, and those times were super cruel. One had to kill people to be free. If that's so, thanks for a visual representation then, just what I needed - an image of a man being torn to pieces by dogs.

2) It's the south, baby, and I like when men gallop on their horses into the sunset. I play one of those cowboy fellows because it's every boy's dream to be a cowboy.

3) Freedom to all! Unchain "niggers"!

4) Corruptness, cowardice, but now let's get to the killing. Money may rule the world, but having a loaded pistol strapped to your hip or reserved for special occasions in your sleeve is ten times better.

5) I just wanna make a movie.

But I guess you've got to have a special talent for stuffing a movie with so many possible interpretations.

Clap-clap-applause, Mr.Tarantino. Blood was gruesome, but overall it was a pleasure: fast paced, character development, stylish, totally worth spending 165 minutes of my time.