The Wolverine (2013)

Argh. I love X-Men, always did, but either I'm growing up or films are really shitty.

Hugh Jackman is a wonderful actor, a very attractive man and has delicious muscles. In a nutshell, a sight to behold. But cringe-worthy cliches? Bar fights? Hiding away in Canada?

I can't say that it was all the way terrible, since there were awesome moments but they usually had something to do with Wolverine's rebirth - spoilers: how he tore this microscopic robot from his chest and how he regenerates his original bone claws when his adamant ones are cut-off by crazy billionaire and ex-soldier who inhabited the robot suit.

But I knew from the beginning that he's gonna hook up with Mariko, and although I guessed the wrong moment (I thought she'll be the one healing him from bullets and bam! typical romance between a nurse and her patient) but it was still stupidly romantic in a get-away house in Nagasaki.

The dropped atomic bomb was incredibly scary but also incredible well done. I saw it in 3D and I just can't imagine anyone seeing it in real life and staying sane. Although now that I think of it - was the explosion really *that* big. Okay, I don't want to think about it. I thought about it. Wikipedia says that not that big. Alright, I can understand the need for striking visuals.

My last remark is: for the first few minutes after the introduction of Mariko I thought that her and Yukio were romantically involved. Maybe it's my twisted mind since they're like sisters but wouldn't it be awesome? That would leave Hugh Jackman without a romantic interest but I'm content to stare at his arms. But maybe that's just me.

The King's Speech

When at school I learnt the hard truth of monarchy, constitutional, in particular, I lost all the interest I used to have in it. It is really sad that all those people in beautiful old-fashioned dresses and living in amazing castles don't make any real decisions but still have to follow rules of etiquette and always think before doing. Not really fair, as I thought when I was so much younger.

They don't get to have real life, real feelings, real anything - and films or TV series that I saw at the time about monarchs and court's life fueled that stereotype. And now, I'm older and possibly a bit wiser and I am still reluctant to let go of that. Seeing Kate and William, and them being so cute and real, hearing about that Swedish princess that got married to her fitness instructor or something - it ought to destroy this conception of mine.

None of these royal couples has achieved it though, but this film, The King's Speech, did.

It is an impossibly good mix of grandeur and ordinariness: there is Colin Firth walking through Westminster Abbey, and there he is, hiding in Lionel's office from Mrs. Logue. Telling bedtime stories to his kids and talking with prime ministers.

We get to see the inside of the royals' life and it all seems so genuine.
We've seen plenty of prime ministers portrayed on screen - from Hugh Grant to Meryl Streep but personally I've never seen a life of a king or a queen (a prince or a princess) that I wanted to be a part of. I always looked at them from the bird's eye point of view and rarely felt anything but overwhelming sadness for their ruined unhappy lives.

I was as nervous as "Bertie", I was as anxious as Elizabeth, I even sympathized with Churchill.

Brilliant movie, and it deserved all the awards it got.

Nashville (1975)

"It's Nashville. Sing!"

Someone should have mentioned to me that at least half of those 159 minutes will be taken up by singing, I'd have watched the whole movie at once. But it's probably my fault because it's Nashville and it's 1970-s.

I like movies like this: the ones that are not character-driven but those that are tied together by something bigger than just people. Places, events, domes (that's an allusion to Under The Dome, currently on CBS, and I have missed the last episode and haven't read review, so I'm in denial that it's all gonna be alright and there aren't gonna be a lot of cliches, but I'm getting off the topic). I prefer a cacophony of voices over one or two deciding what I ought to think about the world and how I'm supposed to view it. I like different opinions because it reveals life from all kinds of points of view and you are the only one who gets to figure out which one is right.

I also strongly believe that if a writer manages to pen something like this they're genius. Because the story comes not from one character but from all of them, pouring out of them and transforming everything around. I guess I'm essentially talking about freedom of speech. Well.

I chose this photo to represent the movie because this blondie up there, in her short skirt and ripped tights is what Nashville is. She's like the city that watches from behind the curtain at everything that's going on and chooses just the right moment to act. They're Nashville, they're singing. No matter what those newcomers, strangers, wannabes, managers, producers, BBC journalists try to do, they're still the same, they're still the one.

When the audience boos at Barbara Jean, when they make Sueleen Gay do the striptease, when the BBC chick misses her story getting lost in the crowd of people, when a guy from another city kills Barbara, and the politics mixed into all of this, it is the power of the city.

Everyone who comes to Nashville is there to please it, so that the city will make them famous or rich. But the essence of the city always stays the same, and no one can change it. Stars come and go, people, too, but Nashville is here to stay.

But while watching I kept thinking: are they all just nuts or are we just too boring?

The Sound Of Music

Oh, I've seen tons of productions, and I liked them all. But this is the first time I saw the movie, and I really mean the first time because I'm not sure I've ever caught it on TV, even.

And... I can't say that I liked the movie. The story is beautiful, the characters are amazing, the actors are brilliant, but there is just something boring. It took me two days to finish it.

And... somehow on stage those last moments seemed more dramatic and life-threatening. The fascist oppression and the telegram guy's betrayal - it all seemed like so much more, but in the movie it happens in the last 30 minutes.

It's kind of weird because as I recall it was a big part of the story and the process of falling in love took less time.

Christopher Plummer is really handsome. My brain refuses to relate this guy (from 1965 lol) to the old grey-haired man who won an Oscar last (of was it before the last) year.

And the kids, ah, the kids.

It brought so much nostalgia and childhood memories but I didn't enjoy it much. Well.

Chinatown (1974)

"Forget it, Jay. It's Chinatown."

I read 10 first pages of the script, knew the synopsis, the ending, major plot points but it just proves that you never know how a film can turn out.

Because this one is beautiful and totally unexpected in a lot of ways.

The main hero is not a typical hero but I think I should attribute it to Jack Nicholson's talent: he makes awful crude jokes, he's absolutely insolent but he's also endearing and you just root for him.

The thought that kept running through my head was He's been had! again and again. And when Evelyn tells him the truth he looks dejected and heartbroken as if his whole world has just been destroyed.

And in a way, it has. For some reason I think it's not the first time a case goes awry like this because it's Chinatown. There's a reason he left the police force, and it's not a woman. He isn't that callous and hardhearted and he doesn't want to become that. He still believes in people, he's still a decent guy who won't take someone's last dime. He maintains this last bit of decency by leaving Chinatown and working for the police. Because this Escobar guy does not have it. I don't want to excuse him by saying that it's his job, I just don't like him.

This movie is the first time I realize that in those times, times of films that are considered classic, women were rarely characters who meant as much as men. One of the last shots of Chinatown is four men talking to each other - similar hats, suits, literally all shades of grey. And they are all characters that we've learnt something about. There is also Evelyn (and Katherine's) father and a bunch of other males. But on the female side we only have Evelyn and I guess Katherine (I don't think I'll even forget her screams in the end). Faye Dunaway is brilliant but it just doesn't seem enough.

Also, I'm not sure if it's racism or what (or they just didn't care about that in the 1970s) but calling it all Chinatown and making it the worst place in the city? The wild place of injustice and chaos?
It could have been the worst place in the city, I wasn't even born in that time, but to me (someone who spends too much time around persuasive pro-equality Internet people) it does seem kind of racist.

But! I liked the film. (I'm gonna keep stating it everywhere unless I wasn't clear).

Jurassic Park

I can't believe I've never seen this one. My childhood is a waste!

Just the right amount of excitement and adrenaline (those dinosaurs were scary!), sort-of valuable observations and humour. I loved it.

I really want to know though: the dinosaurs on the island became extinct again, I hope? Or they didn't and that's why there are sequels?

I'm not sure about other parts of the franchise. For some reason I doubt they are as great as the first one. Well, whatever.

Conclusion: I learnt some stuff about dinosaurs and had a great time.

Now I'm actually in the middle of watching the next film (I forgot to write this thing yesterday) so I'm gonna get back to it. Hint: the next film is older and judging by the first 30 minutes it's also a-mazing.

The Lone Ranger

It was the most boring movie I've ever had to sit through. It even beats the-barely-funny Ted.

Visually, it's like The Pirates Of Caribbean once again. Gore Verbinski is lazy. And I so don't want to admit it but Johnny Depp has gotten lazy: similar parts, similar expressions, similar gestures, argh. And as I see box-office wise the combination of Helena Bonham Carter and Johnny doesn't work if it's not Tim Burton. (Although despite word of mouth people still go check it out, disbelieving that Depp can star in anything so awful).

40 minutes into the movie I glanced at my phone to check the time. That was the moment when I felt that it was time to end this shit. I should have walked out of the theatre but I don't do that. I clench my teeth, I stare at other people's faces trying to gauge their reactions, I check twitter and other social networks, I send angry text messages to a friend who recommended this movie (and feel satisfied when they text me back saying that they're really bored at the moment, too).

I spent the remaining 100 minutes trying to understand what makes this movie so terrible and dull. What I came up with is that the situation the main heroes constantly find themselves in doesn't change. The bad guys slips away, they don't get their revenge, they don't snatch the girl and her kid and they just keep coming up with new plans. It would make a great series, but a movie? Not so much.

He still doesn't get the girl in the end, by the way.
Shit luck.

The Bling Ring

Lately I've found out that I should always start with my opinion of the film because apparently my "analysis" has a tendency to be negative, whatever it means.

If I don't agree with the message of the film (or think that it doesn't have one), it doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it. Duh.

I liked this one. I like Sofia Coppola's work: it's stylish, very musical and well done. I like Kirsten Dunst (even though she appears here very briefly) and I like pretty clothes (there is plenty of that in the movie).

The film is short (which is terrific!), the plot moves fast and it's visually appealing (all those nice things, what, I'm a girl!).

Stealing things, entering without permission and just going too far is bad. We know it.

Materialism is innate to American culture (it really is, you can't deny it)

But there's probably a reason why Coppola decided to make this movie. It might seem that it doesn't have something profound to say but what if it does?
It's not as simple as a story of teenagers who have too much time on their hands. It seems like more of a satire of the Hollywood socialites whose lifestyle really inspires these teens because nothing else apparently does. They are difficult kids but their parents don't seem to care. Their parents aren't role models, they are either overbearing or almost invisible. These kids are lost in the big bad world and they are only able to follow the examples of Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan and the like.

It's not a new issue but we still haven't found the solution to this.

Cat On A Hot Tin Roof

I like Tennessee Williams. Emotions, feelings, tears, frustration, love, hate - it's all jumbled together in one melting pot of a human being, and it always works.

I wonder how long it took him to create a character, because all his heroes and heroines are startlingly real. From the writing point of view, Cat On A Hot Tin Roof is a perfect example of how the dramatic conflict grows out of the characters and their differences.

The movie is true to the book: additional sequences to visualize the story, the change of the setting (no one goes to movies to see people sitting in one place all the time and talking, after all), everything pretty standard. The change of the setting is also a pretty brilliant idea since it dramatizes the conversation between Brick and Big Daddy.

They go from Brick and Maggie's room to the room downstairs to the parking lot and end up in the basement. I'm not sure but it can be an awesome director's decision: it's like they're getting rid of mendacity, layer by layer, going deeper and deeper and finally facing the truth. It creates the sense of irrational movement, of the two men trying to get out of the cage of lies.

Maggie The Cat simply tries to stay on a hot tin roof, and I feel that's why Brick, Big Daddy along with the writer respect her. She doesn't scheme, she doesn't plan, she glues her paws to the roof, no matter how uncomfortable and deadly it might be, and she holds on for dear life. Because that's who she is and it's why we love her.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

It was a very (un)fortunate turn of events that I saw this movie. Seriously. My friend just got this fancy 3D TV set with glasses and all, and it was the only movie they had in 3D, and I just had to check it out. Yeah.

Lie be told, I've always wanted to see this film. I really like it when classic childhood stories are cinematically retold with abundance of blood and literal head-stomping. This is a dream come true, I'm telling ya.


It's all very action-movie like, appropriate "adventure" music, panning shots and things flying out of the TV. Typical plot, definite ending, very cool "tag" scene in the end, has a nice Hollywood touch, cliches, and I think (hope) Brothers Grimm have long ago stopped turning over in their graves; and people who first made up this story have stopped caring altogether even long before the rise of German Romanticism in early 19th century.

Spoilers or sort-of, duh:
1. The red-headed witch dies, and of course Jeremy Renner is still lonely, bad-ass and availably hot as hell.
2. There's even something like Shrek and Fiona story, and the troll resembles Harry Potter trolls TOO much.
3. Am I the only one or the way Hansel looks at Gretel really has sometimes an incestuous feel to it?
4. Only women can be witches --> witch-craft is bad -->  women become super ugly when they practice this crazy magic stuff. But did you really have to make all witches cripples and invalids of different kinds? I get the logic, but it's not really fair: we aim at constructing an equal-for-all society and that's not really helpful.
5. Really fucking cruel.
6. Historically inaccurate.

Django Unchained

Yeah, I've got to admit that I am not yet done with the Oscars 2013.

I like this poster.


Here's a bullet point list:

• Django is a hero alright. He deserves to have a film named after him.
• blood-blood-blood-ketchup-ketchup-paint-blood 
• soundtrack
• pre-Civil War times (I'm not great with the history of the U.S. though)
• DiCaprio's accent, and I just like how everyone says "bounty hunter" here. They make it sound so romantic.

But as usual I'm not quite sure what Tarantino wanted to say. 

1) Injustice and racial prejudices suck, and those times were super cruel. One had to kill people to be free. If that's so, thanks for a visual representation then, just what I needed - an image of a man being torn to pieces by dogs.

2) It's the south, baby, and I like when men gallop on their horses into the sunset. I play one of those cowboy fellows because it's every boy's dream to be a cowboy.

3) Freedom to all! Unchain "niggers"!

4) Corruptness, cowardice, but now let's get to the killing. Money may rule the world, but having a loaded pistol strapped to your hip or reserved for special occasions in your sleeve is ten times better.

5) I just wanna make a movie.

But I guess you've got to have a special talent for stuffing a movie with so many possible interpretations.

Clap-clap-applause, Mr.Tarantino. Blood was gruesome, but overall it was a pleasure: fast paced, character development, stylish, totally worth spending 165 minutes of my time.